Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Wertvoll oder die Kunst zu sich selbst zu finden

Wie angekündigt komme ich nun auf den Berliner-Studenten-Typi zurück.

Man stelle sich Folgendes vor: eine sehr gut besuchte Bar, Adelina, Kyo und ich an einem Tisch und zwei Leute ohne Tisch, denen wir angeboten haben, ihre Drinks auf unserem Tisch zu platzieren. Die zwei Leute waren der Berlin-Typi und seine total nette Begleiterin. Kyo und ich küssen uns (wie man das als Paar halt hin und wieder macht...) und auf einmal schreit der Berliner "Was war das denn?!" als hätte er noch nie zwei sich küssende Leute gesehen. Total perplex wird ein "Ähm... wir sind zusammen?!" geantwortet, woraufhin der Typ in einer Art und Weise die Augenbrauen hochzieht, die bereits auf Einiges schließen lässt. Mit Blick auf Kyo erwidert er Folgendes und deutet dabei auf Adelina:

"Ich an deiner Stelle würde sie nehmen."

Natürlich war die Entrüstung über diesen Satz von Seiten Kyo's und Adelinas groß. Ich selbst schwieg.

Es gibt mehrere mehr oder weniger abenteuerliche Theorien, wie Homo- und Transsexualität zustande kommt. Sicher kann ich aber sagen, dass all diese Personen Menschen wie jeder da draußen sind, die genau wie jeder andere auch Liebe, Anerkennung und Respekt benötigt, sowie das Gefühl, sich selbst als hübsch zu empfinden.

Ich selbst kenne diese Gefühle nur zu gut. Früher war alles, was mir in der Mehrheit zu mir als Mädchen einfiel "hässlich, fett, eklig/abstoßend, zu anders". Ich war nie die Schönste irgendwo. Ich war die, die den von der besten Freundin "abgelegten" Freund abbekommen hat. Ich war die, die sich nie getraut hat einen Typen der mir gefällt anzusprechen, aus Angst davor er würde erschrocken zurückspringen und sich erbrechen. Ich war die, die Sätze zu hören bekam wie "Ich an deiner Stelle würde die andere nehmen" und daraufhin tagelang nicht gegessen hat. Ich war die, die verzweifelt versucht hat den seltsamen Körper irgendwie zu etwas weiblichem, Ansprechendem zu machen und lockte damit versehentlich die komischsten Typen an wie eine Glühlampe eine Schar von Motten. Ich fühlte mich benutzt, von Blicken ausgezogen, degradiert, diskriminiert, nackt auf die unangenehmste Art die man sich vorstellen kann. Ich fühlte mich ausgezogen, schutzlos, hilflos und solche Sätze brannten sich wie Narben in mich ein. "Nicht die, nimm die andere!"

Heute schweige ich über solche Sätze. Und lächle. Wenn ich Sneaker, Baggy-Jeans, Boxershorts und ein Hemd anziehe, grinse ich mich im Spiegel an und fühle mich sexy. Ich muss keineM mehr gefallen. Ich muss nur mir gefallen und mir gefällt was ich im Spiegel sehe, auch wenn es nicht meinem Geschlecht entspricht. Dort wo ich hingehe, gehe ich auf die Leute zu, lache, scherze, lebe. Und auf einmal bin ich - so verquer wie ich jetzt bin - doch beinahe begehrt und beliebt geworden. Und das macht mich glücklich, dass es Menschen gibt, die quer über ein Con-Gelände rennen und meinen Namen brüllen. Das es jetzt Leute gibt, die mich sogar vermissen.
Und hin und wieder trage ich sogar "normale" Klamotten. Nur wenn mir danach ist, nur für mich selbst weil ich wieder einmal entdeckt habe, dass ich doch nicht so fett bin. Dann steige ich in High-Heels aus dem Auto und jedem Kerl, der dann da käme würde ich sagen:

"Hau ab, denn früher war ich es auch nicht wert."

Denn darum geht es. Sich selbst wertvoll zu fühlen. Egal ob man eine Frau ist, die eine Frau liebt. Oder eine Frau, die sich nur in Männerkleidung vollkommen schön und sicher fühlt. Man sollte nur das tun, was sich gut anfühlt. Und ich fühle mich jetzt ne Runde wertvoll! ☆~(ゝ。∂)

Sunday, February 22, 2015

A wonderful Weekend

This week Kyo's best friend Adelina visited us from Thursday on. I love Adelina because she is such a sweet, lovely person! And additionally she likes the same things as I do, so we can talk for hours about Tolkien, Sherlock and other things without feeling like complete Nerds.♥
Diese Woche war ab Donnerstag Kyo's beste Freundin Adelina zu Besuch. Ich liebe Adelina weil sie so eine liebe Süße ist! Und nebenbei mag sie die selben Dinge wie ich, man kann also stundenlang über Tolkien, Sherlock und anderes labern ohne sich wie der komplette Voll-Nerd zu fühlen.♥
Bavarian "Plum-Dumplings" (aka Zwetschgenknödel) I cooked for Adelina
went on friday with lenses and gyaruo-make-up to work and felt fabulous
After just chilling on Thursday and Friday, we went on Saturday in the city to show her a little of our medieval jewel.
Nachdem am Donnerstag und Freitag nur gechillt wurde, ging es am Samstag in die Stadt um ihr ein wenig von unserem mittelalterlichem Juwel zu zeigen.
Car-Love♥
my Look
After walking forever through the city until everything has been shown what there is to see, we went to our sushi house.
Nach schier ewigem Herumgelaufe bis auch wirklich alles gezeigt wurde was es bei uns zu sehen gibt, ging es zu unserem Sushi-Haus.
Sushi-Love♥
Then once more into the bar "mood" but again I couldn't drink "real drinks" because I had to drive Q___Q.
Danach mal wieder ins "mood" wo ich aber wieder nichts "richtiges" trinken konnte, weil ich ja fahren musste Q__Q.
Virgin-Caipi and Fresh-Garden-Under-18
Now Adelina is already sitting in the train back home and I'm just whacked and looking forward to my bed tonight.
The next few entries will be about what else happened that night (I just say Berlin-Superstudent-who-don't-know-what-to-do-with-his-life-but-knows-everything-better-being-ugly-plus-homophobic-and-
outrageous) and (since I bought again new make-up) a review. Have a nice week so far!

Jetzt sitzt Adelina schon im Zug nachhause und ich bin einfach nur k.o. und freue mich schon auf mein Bett heute Abend.
In den nächsten Einträgen wird es darum gehen, was an diesem Abend noch geschehen ist (ich sage nur Berliner-Superstudent-der-nichts-anzufangen-weiß-mit-seinem-Leben-trotzdem-aber-alles-besser-weiß-hässlich-ist-und-dazu-noch-homophob-und-unverschämt) und (da ich mir mal wieder neues Make-Up gekauft habe) ein Review dazu. Habt ne schöne Woche bis dahin!


╰( ´・ω・)つ──☆✿✿✿✿✿✿




Sunday, February 15, 2015

Valentines Day 2015

First I want to emphasize that Valentine's Day isn't just a day for couples. It's above all a day to show the ones you like that you do and to spend time with them. That my best friend is also my girlfriend, is firstly completely under this definition and secondly an absolute godsend ;|).
Of course I wanted to look good for our "date" so I had to beautify me - here are the results: 
Vorweg möchte ich betonen, dass der Valentinstag nicht nur ein Tag für Pärchen ist. Es ist vor allem ein Tag, um denen die man gern hat das zu zeigen und Zeit mit Ihnen zu verbringen. Das meine beste Freundin auch meine feste Freundin ist, ist also erstens völlig im Rahmen dieser Definition und zweitens ein absoluter Glücksfall ;|).
Damit ich auch gut aussehe für unser "Date" musste ich mich natürlich etwas aufhübschen - hier das Ergebnis:
 
Of course we first had on this special day ensure a pleasant feeling of fullness in the stomach - so our first stop was at our favorite Japanese.
Natürlich musste an diesem besonderen Tag erstmal für ein wohliges Völlegefühl im Magen gesorgt werden - der erste Halt galt also unserem Lieblingsjapaner.
omnomnom delicious all-you-can-eat Sushi ♥
Then we went for a short walk through the enchanting medieval old town to the "Garbo" to watch the movie "The Imitation Game" with Benedict Cumberbatch. I've a lasting impression of this film, it shows not only how much women and homosexuals have been discriminated around 1951, but also what a genius head Alan Turing was. There were several scenes where I had goose bumps, such as trembling people sat after the horrible bomb alarm siren in the subway. I'm definitely going to get the film on DVD!
Danach ging es nach einem kurzen Spaziergang durch die zauberhaft mittelalterliche Altstadt zum Garbo-Kino um "The Imitation Game" mit Benedict Cumberbatch zu gucken. Ich bin nachhaltig beeindruckt von diesem Film, zeigt er doch nicht nur wie sehr Frauen und Homosexuelle um 1951 diskriminiert wurden, sondern auch was für ein genialer Kopf Alan Turing war. Es gab mehrere Szenen, wo ich Gänsehaut hatte, zum Beispiel als die Menschen nach der grässlichen Bombenalarm-Sirene in der U-Bahn saßen und zitterten. Ich werde mir den Film auf jeden Fall auf DVD holen!
The beautiful "Garbo" from the outside
our oldschool cinema-cards
Selfie-time while waiting for the entrance
After I built my completely paralyzed girlfriend up again, we spontaneously decided to go sipping cocktails and ended up in the "mood".
Nachdem ich meine völlig paralysierte Freundin erstmal wieder aufgebaut hatte, beschlossen wir spontan noch Cocktails schlürfen zu gehen und landeten im "mood".
my Virgin-Caipi, Kyo's Touchdown and Geisha-shot
I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day and if not that, then maybe a cool carnival celebration! Since the Carnival still lasts a little: stay clean and do nothing I wouldn't do; |)! Until next week!
Ich hoffe ihr hattet ebenfalls einen tollen Valentinstag und wenn nicht das, dann vielleicht eine geile Faschingsfeier! Da der Fasching ja noch ein wenig geht: bleibt sauber und tut nichts, was ich nicht auch tun würde ;|)! Bis nächste Woche!
Ꮭσνєஐ(๑´ლ`๑)♡

Sunday, February 8, 2015

When did I start dressing Gyaruo and why?

Originally I'm from the J-Rock(-Cosplayer) scene. Since 2008 I cosplayed the bass player Reita of the band The Gazette - that's why I'm Playboy Reita (one day you just HAVE a certain reputation X|D). It was a creeping process but someday I was alone with my Gazette Group among Anime-/Manga-Cosplayers at the Cons. No one has taken pictures, none was there to talk about the favorite bands, it was just boring. The week-long effort I always put in my costumes hasn't been worth it anymore. That's why I've made Burial Applicant as finale 2013 - and my cosplay career ended.
Then I focused on Gyaruo. Reasons for this:

My girlfriend is Gyaru and I wanted to be a befitting companion for her.
I admired the Gyaruo because they're all so pretty.
I sank regularly in the men's nuckle's of my girlfriend and studied for hours the great hairstyles.
I think that the clothes are really cool.
I wanted to try something completely different than J-Rock.
It's totally difficult to implement the Gyaruo-style, especially since my girlfriend is really strict and always has an close eye on my Coordinates/hair. Also, my Visual-Kei-roots come through over and over again and so I'll probably never be a Gyaruo that one could safely put in - for example - a magazine.

But to be honest I don't care. For me it's important that I've fun, I like myself on my photos and still look like me.
  
That's what came out from todays shooting - a bunch of silly pictures X|D. So this was everything from me for this week, next week will be about Valentines Day, look forward to it!
☆ミ(o*・ω・)ノ

Sunday, February 1, 2015

International Gyaru Lovers Wintermeet 2015

My meet started together with Kyo in a train full of soccer-fans from the FC Bayern Munich always asking us if we want to drink beer with them. Nevertheless it was a relaxing journey to #Frankfurt where we arrived at around 11 am.
After scouting out the best way to the location for saturday we went eating Sushi at #SushiEdo which was really delicious. Then short check in at our hotel next to a junkie-shelter, changing into #gyaru/o clothing and meeting the first heap of already arrived #Gal's. 
After fiddling out how Frankfurts public transport system works (and having a lot of trouble with that), we finally arrived in the shopping area. We managed it to survive everything although we had already completely painful feet (Kyo needed back at the hotel the first plaster) and the permanent begging for money/cigs of Frankfurts #Hobo's. The Pre-Meet continued with the complicated way to #Hooters and we all were glad to sit later. I sat on a table together with the spanish girls (SCHMETTERLING!!! XD), the french/suisse ppl, Jojo, the japanese and the english beautys and it was so much fun! The stabbed burgers seemed to taste, the atmosphere has been relaxed and my rusty english slowly became more fluently again (I hadn't the chance to speak it since 2008 >///<).
copyright owned by Alba Vera Scandic, the uglyness in grey is me
We have been about 40 ppl and sat together very long, switching places, going to smoke outside, talking to each other. For me this was one of the best days. I've been a newbie but felt totally welcome, everyone was so nice and kind and sweet and I enjoyed it a lot being part of this wonderful community.

Of course the morning of the main-day started with a lot of stomach-ache (isn't it always like this? XD). I'm not able to say if it was the jack-cola, the 2 packs of cigs, the stress or sth I've eaten - I just felt horrible sick. But I had to stay strong and help Kyo wherever I could, so I swallowed a bunch of pills and got ready for meeting the helpers at main-station. Kyo's Dad David was already there and I'm really glad that he've found time to come and be our photographer, I'm looking forward to see the first pictures! We headed to the #Romanfabrik, our location and started to get everything ready. Then the full bunch of GyaruLoversWintermeet-attenders came and I was impressed - SO MANY PPL!
before the others came, I had time to take a selfie with the naked headless Indian on the balcony
copyright owned by Inaia Papaya, are you able to find me? Tip: I'm next to Kyo.
the hall from above after everyone took a seat - a bit crowded
copyright owned by Alba Vera Scandic, the Gal-introduction of the Bavarians
our photographer: nominated for the GyaruLoversAward for "best hair" and "best Hime-Gyaru" XD
The programme started, well guided from Kyo and Kitai. Unfortunately I had too much to do so I couldn't watch everything and just had short glances at the cuteness on stage but that's okay - I finished right when my girl performed her #Parapara. We had also an GyaruLoversAward (just for fun) and since I was counting the voices I've seen that many of you nominated me for the gyaruo-category - thanks a lot for that, it really makes me happy (\^O^/)

After the main-event + cleaning was done we went back to main station. Salla (such a beatiful name!) and Kati has been in our tram and omfg you two finish beautys are so cute! My wish to visit finland one day has grown even bigger now - NÄKEMIIN! I love finland, not just because I love HIM, I love the landscape, the mentality of the ppl there and I just don't want to die without being able to say: yes, I jumped naked into finlands snow!
Well, a bit off-topic, sorry XD, lets continue: Kyo, David and me filled our stomaches and headed from Frankfurt main station to our next stop: the Karaoke-bar "Melody". The Location itself was pretty cool, it looked quite porn-like but the service was... well, somehow the service was not present. We had to buy our drinks on the bar and I waited at least 10 minutes for a cola-beer (what's so difficult on mixing cola and beer in a glass together?!). To be honest I haven't felt welcome there, the asian staff looked at us like "Ugggh, so much noise and work!". We had 5 rooms for us but unfortunately my room was just singing "girly" songs like Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys (normally I listen to rockmusic or Party-Songs). At some point I noticed that even my girl has been gone. The other rooms sounded much nicer from the outside but they've been so crowded that I ended up sipping my beer alone at the Bar - my mood was gone. It got better when Mary sat down next to me and we talked a lot. The last 30 Minutes of the evening were great then - thanks to Mary, Jada, Inaia, Jennifer aaand... unnff, I hope I forgot nobody XD.

Kyo and me at the Karaoke-Bar
Our final destination on this night was then the Club "A66" in Frankfurt. On the way I talked to highly talented Gina, check her page, it's amazing (https://www.facebook.com/ginaartworks). We came in this club and WE FUCKING ROCKED THE SHIT OUT OF IT! I really had the feeling some "normal" guys who've already been there called their buddys "Hey Dude, come here, here are a lot of REALLY hot halfnaked chicks partying like crazy, you have to see this!". I had a lot of fun dancing with everybody, especially with Kyo and David. But the ultimate highlight was the sexy skills of our ladies at poledancing - wow! Floriane you hot, crazy chick! Move to munich and lets have party every week! I even managed to take finally a Selfie with cute Miku-chan♥. I've spent also a lot of time with Mia (you're a cutiepie!).
Kyo and me ath the club - she's so beautiful ♥
cute Miku and me at the club
the guy who wanted randomly a picture XD
Around 4 in the morning we went to bed, but not very long, cause we had to check out at 11 am. 

Around 12 we were waiting for the other rest (the ones who've survived the night and still were in Frankfurt). When I went to smoke I accidentaly got into the the french/suisse guys at McDonalds at the main station and had the chance to talk a bit more with them before their train left. Then I bumped into Kitai and while we were smoking a Hobo-woman almost stealt her new energy-drink (well, obviously we still has been in Frankfurt). Then we guided the hungry group to the next Thai (were they didn't have baked honey-bananas and somebody forgot to pay an apple-juice and an ice-tea... well, maybe I'll get my 5 Euros sometime from somebody back, thanks anyway!). We've been a very long table of around 20 people and I talked a lot with Jada, Amber and Jojo. It was very pleasant cause everybody was a bit more relaxed (or just tired XD) and the music at the restaurant wasn't so loud.
After the Thai a few already had to leave and the rest sat down at McDonald's. "The iron core" like I'll just call it here consisted of the English Ladies, the Senoritas from Spain and a few germans. We brought a day-brightening new facebook-group into life and I drawed in Ari's "Conhon" - like in the good, old times XD.

copyright owned by Chewiee
All of a sudden everything was over and I sat together with Kyo in my train back home.
borrowed the lipgloss of my gf to comfort my hurting lips...
...felt extremely beautiful afterwards! XD

Well, now I feel kind of empty cause everything is over. I miss everybody and I feel almost angry cause I didn't do so much things. What I will improve till next time:
★ Wear fitting clothes. I took a bit oversized clothes cause I didn't want to be immidiately stamped as girl, that's just not me. Result: I look like 70 kg or more on every photo.
★ DON'T CUT MY HAIR THAT SHORT BEFORE THE MEET! It somehow doesn't fit me, I've to grow my hair now again.
Plan in enough time for doing the hair of my gf AND my hair. To be honest I almost had no time to style my hair. Result: I looked like I've been 12 hours in the storm (and afterwards it rained on me.)
★ Be a bit more like I used to be, just go to people and talk even if I embarrass myself.
★ Ask EVERYBODY for a Selfie (even if I know that the only good-looking person on this pic will not be me XDD) even when it's just the McDonald's-man bringing me hot chocolate!
★ Try to get a bit more photogenic. Maybe with... uhmm... dunno... plastic surgery? XDD Joke. Ideas? Are there... kind of trainings for that? Anybody heard sth to improve?
★ Try to finally buy brand (the thing is, most of the brands I've seen so far are just soooo boring compared to the J-Rock-clothing I'm used to X____x)
★ Give my cigarettes to my girlfriend with the strict instruction to just let me smoke one pack per day.
★ trying to get Marvin ONE TIME punctual to the meet for being on the group-photo!


Nevertheless - I'm more into Gyaruo now than ever and I will try to blog now every week! Stay safe, stay happy, stay tuned!
O(≧▽≦)O